The Best American Short Plays 2010-2011 Read online

The garage of their shared home.

  • • •

  [AARON enters the garage of his home, in shorts, T-shirt, and bathrobe, carrying a cup of coffee, a folding chair, and a tub of large colored chalk. He sets everything down at dead center, then draws a series of Xs around him in a large circle. He sits and waits. VICKI enters carrying suitcases.]

  VICKI [Sighing.] Now what? Hey.

  [No reply from AARON.]

  I have to go. What are you doing in here?

  [She walks up to the marks.]

  What is this?

  AARON Barbed wire.

  VICKI Okay. What’s it for?

  AARON To keep you out.

  VICKI I’m signing the lease at three.

  [Silence from AARON.]

  I know you’re still hurt about everything, but I want to try to be something close to friends.

  [Still no response.]

  Please?

  [She steps closer.]

  AARON [Abruptly shouting.] I told you it’s fucking barbed wire! I’m not responsible if you get hurt!

  VICKI [Pause, startled.] It’s chalk. You drew that. I get that you’re a sensitive artistic type, fine, great. But sometimes you’re just friggin’ weird, and this is one of those times.

  AARON And what do you care? After five years together, you’re walking away. If I want to wall myself off from the world, it’s my choice. You can’t say anything about it anymore. So go. Get the hell out of my life.

  VICKI [Shouting.] I don’t want to get the hell out of your life! I love you, just not the way I need to so I can live with you.

  [AARON stands and grabs another stick of chalk. He steps between the Xs and begins to draw a new pattern.]

  AARON You see this? This is lava. A whole ring of lava surrounding me. That’s what I needed. Another layer of defense.

  VICKI This is crazy. Would you stop and talk to me?

  AARON [Still drawing.] Lava is molten rock. It’s like thousands of degrees, and will burn the shit out of you. So if you know what’s good for you, you’ll go the hell away.

  VICKI [Nearly screaming.] It’s stupid chalk, you stupid...ahhh! You’re so damn infuriating! All right, fine. If this is how you want to do it!

  [VICKI starts toward the chalk.]

  AARON NO! No, you fucking don’t! This is my home, and if I say you can’t do something, you damn well will not do it!

  [VICKI stops. She looks at him, then the marks around him. She begins to slowly walk around him, staring at the lines intently.]

  VICKI There.

  AARON [Confused.] What?

  [VICKI leaps and lands in a spot between the lava and the barbed wire. She leaps again and is in the middle of the circle. She grabs a stick of chalk and jumps out the way she came in.]

  Damnit! That isn’t fair! The barbed wire is at least six feet tall. You can’t just jump over it.

  VICKI You didn’t say anything about how tall it is. You set the rules, but you hafta say them first before I can follow them.

  [She begins to draw on the floor with the chalk.]

  AARON What are you doing?

  VICKI Fighting back.

  AARON You can’t fight back, because I’m not fighting. I refuse to.

  [Stressed.]

  Vicki...please. I can’t—

  VICKI [Angry.] Oh, you will fight me. I don’t care if I lose, but you will act and react to me. You mean too much to me to not have you talk to me before I go.

  AARON I can’t. I can’t do it. I just want to...

  VICKI No. You need to stop being stupid.

  AARON [Shocked.] I’m stupid!? Me, stupid! I’m not the one who’s walking out on a perfectly fine relationship.

  VICKI It’s not fine. Not at all. It’s completely screwed up, but you won’t see that, and the only way to save whatever is worth saving is to walk away. And since you won’t do it, I will.

  [She finishes her drawing.]

  AARON What is that?

  VICKI A grilled cheese sandwich.

  AARON Okay. Why?

  VICKI Do you remember how we met? My dad was getting another pointless award from his Knights of Columbus chapter.

  AARON Yeah, I remember. So what?

  VICKI I was at the snack bar, standing in line. My parents wanted beer, and I was hungry, so I volunteered to go get it. I was right there at the counter, looking at the menu, when you walked up and asked me, “Is there anything good here?”

  AARON Yeah. Yeah, I remember now.

  VICKI I said, “I dunno.” And you said, “The grilled cheese sandwich looks good. At least hers does.”

  AARON That old lady, the one with the walker! Yeah!

  VICKI So we both ordered the grilled cheese.

  AARON It was pretty awesome too.

  VICKI It was. Then we talked about how good it was. And we walked over to my parents and talked there for a while. Then we sat with your mom.

  AARON She was there to play bingo.

  VICKI And my folks stayed after the ceremony to play bingo. And we sat in the back and talked until they shut the place down for the night.

  [She steps closer.]

  AARON Stop.

  [He bends down and draws, again around the periphery of the entire circle.]

  These are cannons, firing high explosive, depleted uranium warheads, capable of leveling a city block. Go the hell away.

  VICKI Damnit! I don’t care what...

  AARON I said, GO THE HELL AWAY.

  [She stares at him for a moment, then walks to the other side of the circle, opposite the grilled cheese sandwich, and draws again. He watches her suspiciously. She finishes.]

  AARON Okay. What is it?

  VICKI A turkey. It was the Thanksgiving after we met. You remember that?

  AARON Yes.

  VICKI What do you remember?

  AARON Fuck off.

  VICKI I’ll tell you what I remember. We went downtown to watch the city turn on the Christmas lights. The whole center square downtown was lit up with all these colors, and it was cold so we were hugging tight to stay warm. I slid my hands under your jacket to warm them on your hips, and you yelled and laughed because they were cold. And then you wrapped your arms around me, then put your hands on the skin of my back, and I yelled and laughed because they were cold. And then you said...

  AARON Shut up.

  VICKI You said...

  AARON I said SHUT UP.

  VICKI ...I love you.

  AARON [Snarling.] Well, I guess it didn’t matter, did it? Nothing I said matters because you’re still leaving.

  VICKI Of course it mattered. It still matters. Please. Just step outside the circle and talk to me, really talk before I go.

  [AARON bends down and draws several figures spaced around the edge of the circle.]

  AARON Do you see these? These are space-based unmanned weapons platforms, equipped with solar-powered lasers and rail guns. If the lasers don’t fry you to a crisp, the rail guns will pound you into a bloody pulp.

  VICKI Jesus. Let me point out again that these are just drawings and can’t really hurt me. But even if they could, why would you want to hurt me?

  AARON Because right now, I hate you more than anything. More than anything in the world.

  VICKI You don’t mean that.

  AARON Yes, I do. But I don’t want to go to jail for really hurting you. But if I could get away with it, I’d punch you square in the face.

  [VICKI struggles with this statement for a long moment, her emotions visible. She thinks, then walks to another side of the circle. She draws another figure. When she is finished, AARON stares at her, motionless. VICKI waits, then finally speaks.]

  VICKI When my mother died.

  [AARON turns away at this, refusing to look at her. She takes a step toward him.]

  AARON No.

  VICKI When she died, it was the worst time of my life. But you were there, and you helped me get through it. You listened to me, all the stories about her, how she could make me angry and laugh a
t the same time. You listened while I worried about my father, and how he was going to deal with being alone. Held me when I cried. Brought me food and coffee in bed when I couldn’t force myself to get out of it. You were the first one to make me laugh afterwards.

  AARON You should leave.

  VICKI You went with me the first time I visited her in the cemetery. And I loved how you talked to her there, as if she were still alive, with us right at that moment.

  [AARON takes off his robe and erases everything he has drawn, avoiding VICKI’s drawings. He then makes two large circles around him.]

  What is this?

  AARON An abyss. Endless. It goes on forever, and never stops. Neither one of us can cross it. So you should go, and leave me here. I’ll be fine.

  VICKI But I won’t be. I can’t leave and not have you connected to me somehow.

  AARON You don’t need to be. And I don’t want to be.

  [VICKI walks to the last empty side and makes her last drawing. She does not wait for AARON’s response to explain it.]

  VICKI This morning, while I was lying in bed, I heard you come into the room. I heard what you said.

  AARON I didn’t say anything.

  VICKI You said, “I love you.”

  AARON No, I didn’t.

  VICKI I heard the door open, and then I felt you sitting on the side of the bed. I didn’t move. I pretended to be asleep. Then you touched my hair.

  AARON Nope. Didn’t happen.

  VICKI And I felt you bend down to kiss me. And then you said it.

  AARON No.

  VICKI “I love you. No matter what.”

  AARON [Angrily.] Why didn’t you say something when I did that?

  VICKI Because if I had, if I had turned around and said “I love you too,” I wouldn’t be leaving. We would drag this falling apart out for weeks, maybe months. I need to leave now. But I can’t leave with us this way.

  AARON I don’t want you to leave.

  VICKI And I don’t want to leave. But I have to.

  [AARON looks at her for a long moment. He looks down at the drawing, then kneels down at the edge of the abyss.]

  AARON Meet me halfway.

  [VICKI looks at him, confused, then understands. She kneels down, and they both make lines from each of their sides, creating a bridge. They stand, and meet in the middle. They embrace.]

  VICKI [Softly.] I’m going to miss you.

  AARON I’m going to miss you too. Will I see you again?

  VICKI Of course. More than you expect. I’ll be over here a lot, I think.

  AARON Good. Because I love you. I’m sorry I killed whatever we had.

  VICKI Baby, you didn’t kill it. Love doesn’t die. It just changes. Sometimes into hate, but that didn’t happen with us. And I’m glad about that.

  AARON [Pulling away but still holding hands.] Can I help you out with your bags?

  VICKI [Grinning.] Dressed like that? We’ve given our neighbors enough to talk about as it is. Stay here. Get used to the place without me.

  [She pulls away from him, and gathers her things. She looks around one last time, then turns to AARON and smiles.]

  Have any plans for dinner?

  AARON [Smiling.] As a matter of fact, no. I just broke up with my girlfriend, so I’m free as a bird. But...

  VICKI But?

  AARON I think...I think I need a few days.

  VICKI Okay. I get that. But soon, all right?

  AARON Soon. I promise.

  VICKI Okay. Love you.

  [Exits.]

  AARON [Long pause.] I love you too. No matter what.

  [AARON looks at the door for a long time. He then looks at the floor. He exits.]

  • • •

  Chocolates on the Pillow

  Arlene Hutton

  Chocolates on the Pillow by Arlene Hutton. Copyright © 2012 by Arlene Hutton. All rights reserved. Reprinted by permission of the author.

  CAUTION/ADVICE: Professionals and amateurs are hereby warned that performance of Chocolates on the Pillow is subject to a royalty. It is fully protected under the copyright laws of the United States of America, and of all countries covered by the International Copyright Union (including the Dominion of Canada and the rest of the British Commonwealth), and of all countries covered by the Pan-American Copyright Convention and the Universal Copyright Convention, the Berne Convention, and of all countries with which the United States has reciprocal copyright relations. All rights, including professional and amateur stage performing rights, motion picture, recitation, lecturing, public reading, radio broadcasting, television, video or sound recording, all other forms of mechanical or electronic reproduction, such as CD-ROM, DVD-ROM, information storage and retrieval systems, and photocopying, and the rights of translation into foreign languages, are strictly reserved. Particular emphasis is placed upon the matter of readings, permission for which must be secured from the author’s agent in writing.

  Inquiries concerning rights should be addressed to Beacon Artists Agency, 1501 Broadway, Ste. 1200, New York, NY 10036, 212-736-6630, [email protected].

  Arlene Hutton

  Arlene Hutton is a three-time winner of the Samuel French Short Play Festival and a six-time Heideman Award finalist. Her first one-act, I Dream Before I Take the Stand, premiered at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe, was presented at the first New York Fringe Festival, and appears in several anthologies. She is best known for The Nibroc Trilogy, which includes Last Train to Nibroc (Drama League nomination for Best Play), See Rock City (In the Spirit of America Award), and Gulf View Drive (LA Weekly Theatre Award nomination and Ovation Award nomination). An alumna of New Dramatists, Hutton is a member of the Dramatists Guild and Ensemble Studio Theatre. Her plays have been presented Off- and Off-Off-Broadway, regionally, in London, and around the world.

  • • • Production History • • •

  Chocolates on the Pillow was presented by Artistic New Directions, Janice L. Goldberg and Kristine Niven, artistic co-directors, in March 2010. It was directed by Lori Wolter Hudson and stage-managed by Jacob Moore. Costume design was by Beth Lincks. Cast:

  DEBBIE , Amanda Sykes

  BILL, Raife Baker

  MARYANN , herself

  An earlier version of Chocolates on the Pillow was developed at New Dramatists for Nude Dramatists, directed by Thomas Edward West. Cast:

  DEBBIE , Alana West

  BILL, Jack L. Davis

  MARYANN , herself

  Characters

  DEBBIE , a nice, average young woman in her twenties or early thirties

  BILL , her nice, average boyfriend, around the same age

  MARYANN , a very old and worn stuffed animal, probably a monkey, about three or four years younger than Debbie

  • • •

  [A bedroom suite in a “Victorian” bed and breakfast. Suitcases. BILL, in khakis and a sweatshirt, enters, carrying car keys, a handful of tourist brochures, and two glasses of sherry, which he places carefully on the bureau.]

  BILL [Calling toward the bathroom.] The car is now parked.

  DEBBIE [From offstage.] Thanks!

  BILL [Going through the brochures.] There is so much to do here. Hiking. Rafting. Tubing. Hiking. Horseback riding. Hiking. Museum.

  [He tosses that one in the trash.]

  Rock climbing. Antique stores.

  [Balls that one up and throws it in the trash.]

  Tubing. Ballooning. Ballooning? Hiking. Hey! We’re only twenty miles from the Appalachian Trail!

  [He is still looking at the brochures as DEBBIE enters. She wears a pretty nightgown and robe set, soft and romantic.]

  DEBBIE What did you say?

  BILL [Still engrossed in his flyers.] The Appalachian Trail. It’s only about twenty miles from here. We’re gonna have a great weekend.

  DEBBIE They’ve got the cutest little soaps. Crabtree and Evelyn.

  BILL There’s no light in here.

  DEBBIE I turned it down.

  BILL I can’t read the
brochures.

  DEBBIE Do you really want to read the brochures?

  [BILL looks at her for the first time and notices her outfit.]

  BILL Hel-lo.

  DEBBIE Hi.

  [BILL lamely holds out some brochures.]

  BILL There’s lots to do here.

  DEBBIE We can look at them in the morning.

  [DEBBIE takes the brochures out of his hand and puts them down.]

  BILL Don’t you want to decide what we’re gonna do tomorrow?

  DEBBIE We might want to sleep in.

  BILL Oh. Right. Yeah. Good idea.

  DEBBIE Or not sleep in.

  BILL Just stay in?

  DEBBIE Whatever you want.

  BILL Hel-lo.

  DEBBIE I went ahead and showered. While you were parking.

  BILL I got to talking with Ron and Shirley. I should’ve—

  DEBBIE That’s okay.

  BILL They make French toast on Saturdays, serve it—

  DEBBIE Don’t you just love a bed and breakfast?

  BILL —in the garden.

  DEBBIE Yay.

  BILL Oh! And they gave us sherry. Since we got in too late for dinner.

  DEBBIE That’s so nice. What is sherry, anyway?

  BILL We’re gonna find out.

  DEBBIE Don’t people cook with sherry?

  BILL We’re gonna cook with sherry tonight.

  [Perhaps he holds an imaginary microphone and he sings.]

  “Sherry, Sherry baby Sher-ry, Sherry baby.”

  DEBBIE Hello, Tiger!

  BILL [He can’t stop looking at her.] Hel-lo. You’re way ahead of me here.

  DEBBIE The shower’s great. Big fluffy towels.

  BILL I’m there.

  [He looks at her, grins boyishly.]

  Wanna join me?

  [BILL starts taking off his shoes.]

  DEBBIE I’m gonna finish unpacking.

  BILL Oh, come on.

  DEBBIE Tomorrow. We can take a long bath together tomorrow. After the hike.

  BILL [Pulling his arms down in victory.] Hike. Yes!

  [BILL sings as he pulls hiking boots from his suitcase.]

  DEBBIE [Smiling at him.] Oh! Look! There’s chocolates.

  BILL Where?

  DEBBIE On the pillow.

  BILL Nice.